So, if I feel like saying "game over", why can't I? Anyway, I hope you enjoy my thoughts as the clock runs out.Indeed. You can. If that really is your best solution, go for it.
I do have a partial suggestion about how to do it. Not about the technical aspects, that is.
My suggestion is to find someone to talk to about it. Someone who cares about you, and respects you. Someone who accepts your free will, and will not try to stop you. That someone may suggest other solutions than death. There is a "risk" that you may be convinced. If not, rest in peace.
Let me add that I in 2006 allowed my beloved girlfriend to kill herself, after talking it through with her. She was in a physically hopeless condition, and letting her go was my final act of unconditional love. She appreciated that very much. She really loved life, but had a very good reason to go. She could convince me.
Who can you convince?
Can you convince your readers that your project and you are for real?
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3 comments:
The blog has gone 404 now. From the final entry:
[...]
I wanted this blog to be about personal discovery and truth. But the correspondences I have received have taught me more about those qualities than I could ever express. 90DayJane has become its own entity and has influenced me. In fact, it has changed my perspective as a human being.
I feel a massive sense of responsibility to my art, but more importantly the readers of this blog. My closeness to this project must have made art seem like reality to many people. That is not a reaction that I expected nor can I morally justify. This is why my project, 90DayJane, will be taken down in the next few hours.
[...]
It is my feeling that the internet is the best and worst example of human interaction. This was painfully proven to me by reading every comment and every email. I believe I owed that to everyone. I know we all saw the dark side of the reactions in the blog comments. There was so much hate, immaturity and apathy. But, I truly wish everyone could see the beauty and honesty in the emails; many people feel like Jane (me). People have been more real and heartfelt than I thought was possible.
[...]
I never read the blog or the comments, but suicide is not unknown to me at all. I've lost friends and been close to dying my self - by overdosing. I'm glad I never succeded - now. Sometimes you may feel that there is no hope at all, you may feel cornered, useless, unworthy, but there is allways hope, unless you are suffering from a deadly disease and in pain.
Life has tought me, that I need to be open about my problems, and that there is another way, suicide is seldom the only solution. I've been in coma and woken up to all the issues, that made me take the dessision. Lived to see the pain I've caused the ones who loves me. I guess I've made my last attempt to escape reality now. I truely hope so. Guess I've taken OD's about ten times. The first time in my early tweenties, the last time a few month ago - I'm sorry to say, but I've been confronted with the pain and suffering it cost my love, we didn't tell friends and family, kept it for our selves, to get over it and push it aside as soon as possible. I love life, I love it because I have a wonderful man, I hate my self for bringing him in such a condition. Not knowing what would happen next, if I would try again and so on...
Healthy people always have an other option than suicide, is my conclusion. Tell someone you trust, how you feel. Or talk anomonyos to a person on one a lifesaving hotline by phone. You will see, that you will meet understanding for your problems. Talking to someone who understands your situation, will be releaving.
If you can't see the light, you must try everything - everyway to get back on track.
Love Henriette Emilie
Yeah, the key is indeed to do everything to get back on track.....
The base for Janes project was a 30+ year old incident with a live TV suicide by a woman who really tried to get help, and tell others about her problems. Noone listened. I'm preparing a blog entry (in Danish) about that case, probably to be published monday. Stay tuned.... :-)
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